To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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