So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
This is the high leading the old right now
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
