Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
