this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
