look no pants
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
