My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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