those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
