i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
