just tell him i said nine months
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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