can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
