He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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