i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
