i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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