Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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