The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
