I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize