I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
