she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
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