u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
