Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
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Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
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You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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