There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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