So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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