you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
