At least make sure they are 18
Why
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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