Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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