You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
pray to the hookup gods
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
