another moral hangover. fuck.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
