i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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