I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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