I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
