Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
