Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
