Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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