Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
