Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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