Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
