Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
