It's just like the Real World with babies
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
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I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
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You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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