I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
