My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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