I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
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Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
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I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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