Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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