thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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