I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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