It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
two words: eviction party
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize