It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
3 2 1 whiskey
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
