...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
