CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
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So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
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He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
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I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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