Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
