is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Randomize
