Do you still have your period?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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