Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
