I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
