Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
