So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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