Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
