I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize