I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
