My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
