have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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