Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
