god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
