he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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