he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
