so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
