please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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